'"WHO AM I"
Our thoughts today are centered around a prayer of David as he expresses his gratitude for the Lord's mercy and kindness towards his house, "Then went king David in, and sat before the Lord, and he said, Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?"(II Samuel 7:18)
As David spake thus to his Lord, he was not asking who he was in regard to his person, but rather who he was that the God of glory would take notice of him and bless him thus. His speech concerned the lowliness of his character. As a country song once went, "Why me Lord; what have I ever done, to deserve even one of the kindness you've shown?" God's grace was so amazing to David that he could not find words to express his feelings and vent his soul properly. He is amazed, dumbfounded by God's grace.
When we see God's wonderful grace many questions come before us because grace first appears a mystery to us. Why so free? It sometimes seems offensive to us because we are such graceless creatures ourselves, that when someone first makes the proposition of grace to us, we are offended, we demand that we must merit every jot and tittle of God's blessings. We are accustomed to asking why when adversity strikes. But grace is so free that it causes us to question God's kindness as though we must earn it. Grace is that way. It goes against the common thinking of mankind. That is why David wrote a few verses later, "And is this the manner of man, O Lord God?" David knew that it wasn't. It was not Saul' manner toward him nor was it his own manner toward Nabal the Carmelite. As he surveyed his life he could not find enough merits to match the blessings he had received. Surely, if we went tit for tat with the Lord we would find his graces far outweighing our merits. David didn't say, "Because I am king", because his kingship was by given by grace. He didn't say, "Because I slew the Philistine giant", because he knew his stone was guided by Jehovah's hand. What could he say? So he said, "What can David say more unto thee?"
God's grace humbles us. David uses the phrase "thy servant" eight times in this one prayer which shows us how grace, and not law, brings loving obedience. I feel that David wanted to do more for his Lord at this moment of his life than every other moment put together. This is the classic symptom when we first experience grace! We may obey God because we fear Him, because thou shalt nots ring in our ears. But the Lord is most delighted in obedience spawned from a thankful heart! When a hateful Saul of Tarsus first experienced grace he said, "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?". When hearts were pricked at Pentecost, the response was "Men and brethren, what shall we do?" The cross was the place where matchless grace was displayed, not a whip. Followers of Christ do so out of love, not the fear of Sinai's thunder. Jesus is the mediator of a better covenant which is established upon better promises. So we ask, "Who am I that God would love me with an everlasting love? Who am I that I would be chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world? Who am I that God would send His beloved Son to die for my sins? Who am I that God would number the hairs of my head and watch my every step? Who am I to receive an inheritance, incorruptible, undefiled that fadeth not away? Who am I to enjoy the earnest of my inheritance, knowing my redeemer and exploring the merits of His sufferings? Who am I"? The best answer I have found goes thus: A worm in the dust, yet an object of God's amazing grace!!!